A Better Fox Trap
by desolate butterfly
Summary: [Team Seveness] When Tsunade gives Sakura and Sasuke a mission to change Naruto's bad eating habits, it'll take every ounce of intelligence, creativity, and cunning they have to do it. [NaruSasuSaku]
1. Setting the Trap

Title: A Better Fox Trap

Author: Desolate ButterflyPairings: NaruSaku, NaruSasu, SakuSasu, NaruSasuSaku  
Rating: PG 13 - R in later chapters (Edited to comply with regulations)  
Summary: Sakura and Sasuke are ordered to make some changes in Naruto's diet. And it'll take all their intelligence, creativity, and determination to do it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor am I making any money off this fiction.

--

When Tsunade ordered Sakura and Sasuke into her office one Saturday morning, they hadn't expected it to turn into a discussion of Naruto's eating habits. That the topic of the day was not, in fact, the status of Sasuke's curse seal—which Tsunade, Kakashi, _and_ Sakura had a hand in containing after he was dragged back from Sound only a bare month earlier—but the fact that their team mate consumed large amounts of ramen _and only ramen_ several times a day, came as a surprise to everyone. Still, Tsunade seemed quite serious about it.

"He's developing a vitamin deficiency already," she huffed, exasperated. "I'm sure you noticed that Naruto is not quite as energetic as he used to be."

"We thought he was just settling down now that…well, now that Sasuke's back and all," Sakura explained, shooting a hesitant glance at the dark-haired boy beside her.

Sasuke just rolled his eyes and muttered, "Guess it was too much to hope that he was gaining some maturity."

"Yes, well it's worse now that he's not feeding so much off of the kyuubi's powers," Tsunade continued. "Before, I think he could have eaten nothing but raw steaks and it wouldn't have mattered. But now…he might be in danger of getting scurvy if his eating habits don't change soon."

"You want us to get him to eat his fruits and vegetables," Sasuke stated, flatly.

"Not so much the vegetables. I've spoken to the owner of the _Ichiraku_ and he's agreed to sneak some into the ramen he serves Naruto. But he needs vitamin C the most. You two," Tsunade pointed at them, "are going to get him to eat it. Use whatever method you think has a chance of working."

So Sakura and Sasuke ended up walking out of the Hokage's office with a mission neither of them really felt hopeful of achieving.

"I didn't come back to Konoha to become a nursemaid," Sasuke complained. He wilted a little, however, when Sakura shot him a look.

"That's not helping, Sasuke-kun. And you didn't _come back to Konoha_. We carried you back. After I broke your legs. Repeatedly."

"I remember," Sasuke grumbled, absently rubbing his hipbone.

Sakura shook a closed fist at him and was pleased at the bit of respect that showed in his eyes.

"And I can do it again, so stop complaining and help me think of a plan."

"What do you mean _plan_? I'll hold Naruto down, and you can shove some apples down his throat or something."

"What? No!"

"Fine, if you like, _you_ hold him down and _I'll_ shove apples down his throat. But I bet you he'll bite _me_."

Sakura sighed and hung her head.

"_Boys._ You have absolutely no subtly."

"Well what do you suggest?"

Sakura grinned and Sasuke shivered in spite of himself. That kind of face on Sakura only meant one thing.

"Oh no…"

"Oh _yes_."

The return of Sunday Suppers.

--

Sunday Suppers had been a Team Seven tradition right up until Sasuke had decided to skip town. The idea had been to improve their teamwork, though most of the evenings degenerated into a fight between Naruto and Sasuke, with Sakura trying desperately to resolve the problem before Sasuke's neighbours complained about the noise and the broken furniture.

Though, every once in a while, the dinner would end without any bones or plates being broken, and Sakura and Sasuke would have tea in the living room while Naruto washed the dishes and hummed along to the radio.

Naruto always did the dishes, because he was not allowed to cook. This was because the only thing Naruto knew how to cook was instant ramen, and Sakura had absolutely forbidden any ramen for Sunday Suppers, claiming that they had already had enough of the salty noodles and broth during the week and didn't need any more of it on the weekend.

Naruto had sulked about this, but decided that if he really wanted to, he could go to the _Ichiraku_ after the dinner was over with. He didn't say this in front of Sakura-chan, however, because he was afraid she might punch him again, and not even kyuubi's fast-healing abilities were enough to save him from a painful lump on the head these days. Sometimes, Naruto really resented Tsunade-baachan teaching Sakura her chakra building jutsus.

So, when Sasuke cooked they would have onigiri with fish, because that was his favourite food. And when Sakura cooked they would have odango with rice because that was _her_ favourite food. And sometimes Kakashi-sensei would drop by, late of course, and pick up the care package of leftovers that Sakura made for him before giving each of his students a pat on the head. This, Sasuke endured stoically, as if completely aware that dodging would only give incentive for Kakashi to add a hair ruffle to the ritual.

Sunday Suppers had, of course, stopped when Sasuke left, and they really hadn't picked up at all since he had returned, mostly due to the awkwardness of having Team Seven reunited after all this time. It seemed, during the first few weeks, all too likely that during the course of the meal, something unforgivable might be said about creepy snake bastards or mass-murdering older brothers that couldn't be taken back.

But, Sakura reasoned, the awkwardness had faded, and while Team Seven wasn't quite back to the easy level of closeness they had obtained before Sasuke's jaunt to Sound, in some ways she thought they might be closer.

For instance, yesterday, after one of Naruto's kage bunshin had thrown her into the river during afternoon training, she had noticed that _both_ Naruto and Sasuke had become intensely interested in the way that the water had made her top cling to her breasts. This pleased her so much that she had let them get away with it without comment or bruises.

And Sakura was certain that the admiration she saw in Sasuke's eyes while he and Naruto fought each other had more to do with the way the other boy's muscles shifted and flexed as they struggled together, than any regard for how much stronger Naruto had gotten.

Naruto, of course, was interested in anything with a pulse, and Sakura blamed Jiraiya entirely for the all too present leer on her friend's face these days. Her life had become considerably more difficult (not to mention more interesting) even since Naruto had learned that he could make her blush just by saying her name in a certain tone.

And since Naruto had learned a few new manipulations from Jiraiya, Sakura had had to train herself to become even more devious. Anything boys could do, she could do better, after all, and she _was_ considered the most intelligent kunoichi of her class.

Which is why, when her original plan to get Naruto to eat his fruit didn't work as expected, she was more surprised than anyone.

Oh, the start up of Sunday Suppers was well received by Naruto, and he showed up on time and complimented Sakura on her cooking skills. But when it came time to eat the variety of pickled _umi_, sliced pears, and bright yellow _yuzu_, Naruto refused as usual.

"You don't like it?" Sakura asked, letting her lip tremble and her voice waver strategically. "I didn't make it well enough for you?"

Naruto held up his hands in a nervous gesture. "Ah ah, Sakura-chan, that's not it at all! I'm sure it's great if you like fruit and junk."

He looked to Sasuke for help, but Sasuke had already been kicked surreptitiously under the table by Sakura and only scowled in his direction.

"Moron. You're gonna make her cry."

"Aw, crap, Sakura-chan you aren't really crying, are you?" Naruto's anxious question gave Sakura hope for her plan, and she gave one or two sniffles for good measure.

"I-If you d-don't like my cooking…t-then you c'n just-just go away!"

Naruto's eyes widened as Sakura buried her face in her hands and began to sob loudly. Immediately he sprang up from his chair and put his arms around her in a loose embrace. Inwardly smiling, Sakura increased the volume of her cries just a little and leaned into Naruto's chest which was pleasantly warm.

"Sakura-chan, _please_ don't cry! I'm really sorry. _Really_," Naruto begged, leaning down to nuzzle at Sakura's cheek in what he hoped was a soothing manner.

Down at the other end of the table, Sasuke tried to pretend his eyes weren't glued to the sight of his team mates embracing, and that all his blood wasn't suddenly flowing to his groin area. And that he wasn't so conflicted over who he was more jealous of at that moment. Oh yes, Sasuke tried very hard to pretend about _that _one.

Sakura snuffled into the sleeve of Naruto's jacket and then eased her shaking shoulders.

"T-then you'll eat the fruit?" she asked, blinking innocently up at him.

Naruto pressed his lips close to her ear as his hands wandered down her hips where they had previously rested.

"Nope," he whispered as he groped her ass, "but let me know if there's anything else I can do for ya. I've got a few ideas of ways to make it up to you Sakura-chan..."

"NARUTO!"

Her punch sent him halfway across the room, and it was a good distraction while Sasuke got his blushing cheeks under control and shifted uneasily in his chair. Obviously, wearing the skin tight black suit that he had been fond of before Orochimaru and his Sound Style Team had gotten a hold of him had been a bad move.

"YOU…YOU _JERK!_" Sakura yelled, face tomato red and hands adjusting her dress where Naruto's groping had scrunched it up her thighs.

Naruto only laughed and picked himself up the floor, bouncing innocently on his toes.

"Oh come on, Sakura-chan, I think I know you well enough by now to be able to tell when you're fake crying. That's the exact same voice you used when you wanted Kakashi-sensei to buy you that kunai set."

"Didn't work then either," Sasuke muttered, earning a wicked glare from his female companion that took him a few moments to recover from.

And so the first plan to get Naruto to change his diet failed utterly. Obviously a better fox trap needed to be built.

--

To Be Continued.


	2. The Lure

--

"I don't see what's wrong with my original plan," Sasuke grumbled as he watched Sakura pace around the room.

She rolled her eyes in his direction and Sasuke wondered just when Sakura had grown the backbone she was suddenly showing around him. He wasn't sure if he liked it or not. Certainly she was more easy to handle when she was hanging on his every word like he was a god, but the way she had clung to him was annoying as well. And somewhere along the way he had discovered that Naruto was actually right about something: Sakura was really hot when she was pissed off.

At that moment, her pale green eyes sparked with ire and her face was flushed prettily as she turned to rail at him. Sasuke actually missed the first half of her tirade because he was too busy staring at the way her lips moved.

"Sasuke-kun it was a stupid plan," she said, bluntly. "We can't force fruit down Naruto's throat. He'd just choke on a grape and then _I'd_ have to save him and I _don't_ want to spend all my time using up _my_ chakra to heal him _and_ you after he recovers enough to come after you for trying to force feed him fruit."

Sasuke looked offended for a moment, but conceded the point. "You're right; he's way too stubborn and too stupid to know what's good for him. But how else are we going to get him to do it?"

"If only there was a way to make him think it was his idea," Sakura said, racking her brain.

Then, Sasuke stiffened and he caught Sakura's eye. "Sakura…just how good is your genjutsu these days?"

And Sakura started to smile.

--

"Well that was a complete failure," Sasuke sighed as he picked watermelon seeds out of his hair. "Maybe you should have tried a smaller fruit."

Sakura fumed. There was a red stain on her blouse that was _never_ going to come out. The next time she saw Naruto, he was a dead-man.

"I couldn't find a smaller fruit," she growled between clenched teeth. "Today isn't a market day, you know. And that watermelon was expensive!"

Sakura tugged at her blouse and then started to take it off. Her sports bra provided enough coverage to act as a top anyway, and she didn't want to be sticking to her shirt all the way home.

Also, she liked the way Sasuke's eyes suddenly glued to her fingers as she unbuttoned the shirt and shrugged it off her shoulders in one graceful motion.

"I'll reimburse you for the watermelon," Sasuke offered, sounding a bit distracted. "It was my idea, after all." He watched Sakura slide her thumbs under her bra straps as if to make sure they were still in place and swallowed hard.

Sakura gave him a dazzling smile and tied her soiled shirt around her waist.

"That's so sweet of you, Sasuke-kun!"

He mumbled something unintelligible under his breath and looked away from her, but not before she spotted the tell-tale flush that had risen in his cheeks.

"It was a good plan," she said, "it's just too bad that genjutsu doesn't mask taste. He really _did_ think that slice of watermelon was a bowl of miso ramen."

"Up until the point where he bit into it," Sasuke said, shaking his head. "Now we're back to square one."

Sakura scowled and kicked at the grass, pretending the dandelion at her feet was the blond head of her team mate.

"Stupid Naruto. Stupid stupid stupid _stupid_ Naruto."

Sasuke watched her send the head of the weed flying into the air, eyes narrowed as if he too wanted to kick something.

"You noticed, didn't you," he asked her, quietly.

Sakura seemed to deflate, her shoulders slumping as she stared at the ground. "Yeah…I noticed. He's moving slower. And his heal-time is getting slower as well. That bruise I gave him two days ago is still there. At this rate, he's going to get sick…"

Sasuke felt his nails bite into his palms and forced himself to calm down. "That idiot. He doesn't even see what his stupidity is doing to u…_you_."

Sakura twitched. _'Us, he was going to say us. Oh wow, does that mean…?'_

"Um, Sasuke-kun," she started, cautious, "you care for Naruto, right?"

"Of course I do," Sasuke said with a snort. "I wouldn't be running around playing nursemaid for the damned idiot if I didn't."

"No…no, I mean,"—Sakura swallowed hard—"I mean you _care_ about Naruto. You lo…_like_ him, don't you?"

Sasuke scowled and glared at the ground as if it had personally offended him. "What? No way! You…what makes you say that?"

Sakura smiled softly, trying to reassure Sasuke with her eyes alone, since he looked like he'd jump a mile high if she actually touched him right then. "Just the way you look at him sometimes. Like you're relieved—no…_grateful_. Like you've been given something you really appreciate but have no idea what to do with it. And you're fussing."

"I am not!" Sasuke protested.

Sakura glared right back at him. "You are too," she said, raising a finger to poke in the direction of his chest. "Don't even try to deny it, Sasuke. I see right through you."

Sasuke blinked in surprise at the dropping of the usual honorific to his name. Then he made his expression carefully blank. "I suppose you don't approve," he drawled, tonelessly. It wasn't a question.

Sakura's eyes widened and she shook her head. "I don't…Sasuke you don't need my approval for something like that."

"Yes I do," Sasuke muttered, and evaded Sakura's attempts to meet his eyes. "I…don't want you to think that I'm tainted or anything."

_'Tainted? What the hell…?'_ And then Sakura watched him trace the edges of the curse seal with long pale fingers and understood. She didn't know whether to hit him or hug him.

"You mean by Orochimaru?" she asked, gently, ignoring the way Sasuke flinched at the name that had been taboo ever since he had come back to them. Her hands groped for his arm and she gave a sharp tug, bending him down to look her in the eye.

"I could never think that you are tainted," she said, seriously.

He remained silent, but the tension in his shoulders eased, and she felt comfortable enough to lean her head against his chest.

"Besides," she continued, "if lo-_liking_ Naruto makes you tainted, then I'm tainted too."

"…What?"

Sakura giggled at the astonishment in Sasuke's voice. "Well you have to admit, Sasuke-kun, he's grown up quite a lot, even if he refuses to be mature about his diet. I mean, did you _see_ him yesterday when he took off his shirt to show Iruka-sensei his seal? Now that's _tasty_."

Sakura watched Sasuke's eyes grow wider and wider until she was certain they were going to fall right out of his head. Grinning wickedly, she moved in for the kill.

"You know," she mused, voice low and husky, "I bet all that enthusiasm Naruto shows on missions transfers over…_elsewhere_."

That got a reaction, but not the one the pink-haired kunoichi was looking for.

"Oh…" All of Sasuke's breath was expelled in that one shuddering exhalation and Sakura watched, mystified, as he struggled to speak again.

"I see," he said, and Sakura could tell from the tone that he didn't see at all. "You two, while I was gone…I had thought…" Sasuke's lips thinned into a line and he started walking away from Sakura at top speed. She had to move quickly to keep up with him.

"Sasuke…"

"It doesn't matter," he said, his face a perfect blank expression. "I'll just leave you two alone. I wouldn't want to get in the way. He's loved you forever and…you'll be really happy I know so congratula—"

"Sa…SASUKE." Sakura caught him by the elbow and wrapped her arms around his waist, pinning his arms to the side the same way she had when Orochimaru's seal had first reared its ugly head. She had been afraid of losing him then too.

He stilled in her grasp, like before, but his body vibrated with tension and his voice was something colder than she had ever heard.

"Sakura…let me go."

"_NO_ dammit," she growled, gripping him tighter and burying her face in the back of his shirt. "You are not doing this again. You are NOT running away from us _again_. I'll kill you myself, if I have to. Or Naruto will. But you aren't leaving. Not like this."

"…Sakura."

He felt the back of his shirt grow wet and winced openly. He had made her cry _again_. Would he ever stop making her cry? Maybe it was best that she loved Naruto. Lord knows he would make her happier than Sasuke ever could.

"NO. _Shut up_," she sobbed, "You're so stupid, Sasuke. Did you think Naruto and I would get together and not tell you? Did you think I was lying when I said I loved you? That I would follow you anywhere? Did you think we were _happy_ without you? Why the hell would we have searched for you all that time if…if we didn't want…Sasuke we're a _team_."

Sasuke said nothing, but he didn't run away when Sakura's arms slipped from his waist and she stepped around to face him. The hurt expression in his eyes made her want to kick herself for not saying it more clearly.

_'Obviously I need to be as blunt with Sasuke as I would be if I were talking to Naruto.'_

She brought a hand up to cup his cheek and smiled as he turned in to her touch.

"Sasuke," she whispered, "did you think we would leave you alone? Team Seven is a three person group. Have you forgotten our first lesson?"

"No," Sasuke mumbled. "But it's not the same."

"What's not the same?"

"I know you guys l-love me and we're a team and all that. But if Naruto and you are together…look, it's just not _that_ kind of love."

_'Boys are _so_ dense.'_

"And who says it's not _that_ kind of love?"

Sasuke froze and stared at Sakura, unsure of what he was hearing.

"But…you can't seriously want—"

"Both of you?" Sakura interrupted, blushing faintly. "Yeah, I do. I'm greedy that way. And you want both of us as well, don't you?"

Sasuke scowled but he didn't deny it, which Sakura took as a good sign.

"And Naruto—"

"Naruto wants you," Sasuke stated flatly. "Not me."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that," Sakura said, smiling. "No one was more devoted to getting you back to Konoha then he was. There were a few times when I thought I would never see you again," she continued, softly. "But Naruto never gave up on you. He was so sure he could get you back and I just had to believe in him. He was…the only one I felt really understood what it was like. We both lost someone…really precious to us."

Sasuke breathed deeply and lifted a hand to Sakura's cheek, brushing away a few stray tears that hung on her dark lashes.

"We missed you," she whispered, "both of us did. So you can't leave us again, Sasuke."

"...I won't. But Sakura…that still doesn't mean that Naruto thinks of me…_that way_."

The pink-haired kunoichi giggled and took a step back, shooting Sasuke a wicked leer.

"Well, there's one good way to find that out," she said.

Sasuke glared at her and said, accusingly, "You've been planning something."

"Yep." She grinned. "And if this plan works, and it will because I am brilliant that way, not only will we get Naruto to agree to a…mutually beneficial agreement, but we'll get him to eat his fruit as well."

Sasuke lifted an inquisitive eyebrow and cocked his head to the side.

"I'm listening," he said.

--

To Be Continued.


	3. The Trigger

AN: Just a warning, this part is completely SasuNaru funtime. Don't worry, Sakura will get her entrance later on!

--

And that's how Sasuke found himself on Naruto's doorstep Sunday afternoon, nervously holding a bag of groceries and pulling at the silky shirt that Sakura had made him wear. The material was a dark red, silky, and a tad too shiny for Sasuke's tastes. And it kept slipping off of his shoulder, no matter how tight he tied the front of it. Wearing it made Sasuke feel more naked then he would be with no shirt on at all.

Still, he trusted Sakura's taste in fashion more than his own, and she had assured him that he looked 'absolutely edible' in it, which was encouraging. He just didn't know which was less believable: that she had managed to borrow the shirt from Mr. Ice-cube Neji Hyuuga, or that Neji even owned a shirt like that in the first place.

'_Okay…you can do this. It's just Naruto. Just the moron. Just…oh god, what if he's got people over or something?'_

This was unlikely. Although Naruto had gained the respect of the other members of the rookie nine, he still wasn't the most popular guy on the block. Rarely did anyone other then the members of Team Seven enter Naruto's apartment. Except maybe Iruka.

Oh fuck, what if Iruka was there? The thought of the kindly school teacher seeing Sasuke in such an outfit was almost too much to bear. And with Iruka's sharp senses, Saskue was certain he would know instantly why Sasuke had come over to Naruto's place, whatever lame excuse he managed to make up. It would be written all over his face.

Sasuke cursed long and creatively under his breath for a few minutes, and then tried to regroup.

'_Ok Sasuke…think like a ninja. Ring the doorbell and then stay out of sight. If Iruka is in there, you don't have to go in. You can just tell Sakura he was busy and try another night. Yeah…good plan!'_

Sasuke silently congratulated himself for his brilliance and then rang the doorbell. As quick as he could, he launched himself up on the roof and waited.

A blonde head poked cautiously out the door. "Ah…hello? HELLO? Konohamaru if that's you playing pranks again I'm going to kick your ass."

Since Sasuke didn't hear any voices asking Naruto who was at the door, he felt it was safe to assume that his team mate was alone. He waited just until Naruto was about to close the door in disgust before dropping down from his position on the roof.

Of course, Naruto shrieked and fell over, his hands reaching for the kunai strapped to his leg before he recognized the boy in front of him. Sasuke was sure he saw Naruto pondering the merits of still pulling out a kunai and tackling him, even after he was recognized, and he smirked.

"Hello, dumb-ass."

"Sasuke you asshole, what the hell were you doing on my roof?"

"Practicing," Sasuke said, and then brushed past Naruto into the apartment, leaving him to stammer like a fool for a few seconds.

When Naruto finally gathered himself together enough to rant again, he was distracted by the sight of Sasuke—who was suspiciously well-dressed today—setting a brown bag down in his kitchen and removing a bunch of bananas from it.

"…What are you doing?" he finally asked, unable to hide his confusion.

"It's Sunday," Sasuke said, as if that would explain his presence. It didn't.

Sasuke watched Naruto fume and tried not to smile. He really enjoyed annoying the moron. And not because Naruto looked cute when caught off guard and ranting. Nope, not that at all.

"Sasuke," Naruto growled, gritting his teeth. "Why. Are. You. Here?"

"Well, you see dumb-ass, when two shinobi love each other very much…"

And a ten-minute wrestling match suddenly ensued. Sasuke was suddenly glad of the shirt's silky material. It made him harder to hang on to, which was an advantage. But then, the downside was that _it made him harder to hang on to_. Naruto's hands kept slipping, and not to any interesting places.

Then again, with all the moving about, Sasuke's shirt had slipped pretty far down his shoulder and he was showing a fair bit of collarbone. That _had_ to be in his favour, right?

Truth to be told, Sasuke was enjoying the wrestling match very much. Unfortunately, Naruto seemed to realize just what kind of position they were in, because he blushed and released Sasuke's wrists, where he had them pinned over his head.

"Jerk," he muttered as he scuttled away, but not before Sasuke had felt a certain…hardness against his thigh.

'_Ohgod, Sakura was _right_. Okay, just stick to the plan. The plan is good. The plan will work. Don't. Screw. This. Up.'_

Sasuke got up as nonchalantly as he could with a raging erection and moved back towards the kitchen area. After he thought he could speak without his voice cracking he repeated:

"It's Sunday. We're supposed to have dinner with Sakura tonight and it's my turn to cook."

Naruto still looked confused. "But why are you cooking it _here_?"

Sasuke shrugged. "My stove is broken."

"Oh."

"Yeah, 'oh'."

"Well excuseme for wanting an explanation," Naruto grumbled, taking a seat on the stool across the other side of the counter. "I know it's really hard for you to speak in actual sentences. Did you hurt yourself, Ice-Dick?"

"Fuck you."

"Guess so. You've reverted."

"Eat shit and die."

"Ooooh, getting longer. Just wait Sasuke. Someday you'll be able to make speeches with more then five words in them!"

Naruto grinned at the glare that Sasuke shot him and then leaned over the counter to see what he was chopping.

"So…whatcha making?"

"Banana crepes."

"No fish?"

"Not this time."

Naruto frowned as he watched Sasuke peel the fruit with long, delicate fingers. "I don't like bananas," he stated.

"Well that's just too bad, isn't it," Sasuke retorted. "Guess you'll miss out."

"Sasuke…" Naruto began to whine, but he stopped short as Sasuke brought the peeled banana to his mouth and licked at it with one long swipe of his tongue.

"Guh!" was the only thing the blonde could think of to say.

Sasuke fought to keep a blush off his cheeks as he molested the fruit with his mouth, trying to remember all the tricks that Sakura mentioned were particularly hot and wondering if he looked as ridiculous as he felt.

"Actually," he mumbled, his voice breathy and suggestive, "I quite like bananas. They're my favourite fruit."

'_But I thought tomatoes were your favourite fruit,'_ Naruto thought, before his brain kicked him in the ass for being such a moron.

"S-Sasuke you…gah…what—_ohgod_—what are you doing?" The last syllable came out as a squeak and Sasuke smiled smugly around the banana.

'_It's working.'_

He pulled his mouth off the pale yellow fruit slowly and licked his lips.

"What does it look like I'm doing, dead-last?"

"…It ah, it looks like you're um…sucking on a banana?"

Sasuke took the tip of the banana between his teeth and worried it a bit, watching Naruto's face turn several shades of red.

"Mm hm," he moaned theatrically. "That's right."

Naruto swallowed hard and shifted on his stool. "Why uh…why are you s-sucking on a banana, Sasuke?"

"I like bananas," Sasuke said, biting down into the soft flesh of the banana and pulling a chunk of it into his mouth with an obscene sound. Naruto watched with wide eyes and almost fell off his perch. "But I'd much rather suck something else."

"…what?"

'_Okay Sasuke, do or die time. Just say it and get it over with.'_

"I want to suck your cock."

Naruto fell off the stool. Immediately, Sasuke abandoned his banana and went to see if the moron had actually managed to hurt himself. Fortunately, he wasn't knocked out, but his legs seemed to be tangled in the legs of the stool.

"FUCK."

"Dumb-ass. Are you okay?"

Naruto scowled and rubbed his hip, untangling his feet from the stool. Then he seemed to remember what had caused him to fall off the stool in the first place.

"I'm fine, really. Uh…Sasuke?"

"Hn?"

"Could you please repeat what you said before I fell off the stool?"

"I want to suck your cock."

"…that's what I thought you said."

Sasuke frowned. Somehow he had thought Naruto would have jumped him by now, considering how much he flirted with Sakura. He certainly wasn't sexually inhibited. Maybe Naruto really didn't want Sasuke that way and what he had felt was just…hormones or something.

"If you don't want to," Sasuke started, but he was interrupted by Naruto's frantically waving hands.

"What? No, no…I mean YES. Yes I want to! I really really want to and you aren't fucking with me are you Sasuke because that would be really mean and you're usually really mean but please _please_ don't be joking."

By this time Naruto had his hands fisted in the folds of Sasuke's shirt and was standing so close that the other boy could feel the blonde's breath on his face. He smelled faintly of ramen. That would have to change _right now_.

"I'm not joking," Sasuke said. "I want to suck your cock." God, that got easier each time he said it. And he liked the way it made Naruto's breath catch in his throat.

"Okay," Naruto whispered, shakily, "let's do that…I mean…Fuck, Sasuke all you had to do was ask."

Relief was like a warm blanket over Sasuke's shoulders. He sigh and relaxed into Naruto's grip. Now that the tension was gone, he could feel his own arousal rubbing against his pants and wished for a different kind of relief altogether.

"Then I'm asking," he murmured into Naruto's hair and smiled at the thought that the blonde was still almost two inches shorter then him. "But I have a few conditions."

Naruto felt hands creep their way down his back to clutch at his backside and he moaned loadly.

"Name 'em," he gasped, when we could find his voice again.

"Well first you have to take these off." Sasuke tugged at Naruto's pants. "And this too." His hands brushed over the t-shirt Naruto was wearing.

Immediately, Naruto began to shuck his clothes. He was inelegant and rushed about it, but Sasuke was still fascinated by every bit of skin that revealed itself. When Naruto dropped his boxers Sasuke compared himself to his team mate and decided that they were both around the same size. Naruto might have been a tad thicker, but length-wise they were pretty average.

This comforted Sasuke for some reason. He had half been afraid that Naruto would turn out to be monstrously huge like his chakra, which would make Sasuke feel inadequate. Or, to take things in the other direction, that he would be tiny. But then, Sasuke always knew that little turd Sai was a liar.

"The other condition," he said, running a curious hand down Naruto's side and watching the other boy shudder in response, "you have to show me what you want."

"Huh?" Naruto said, his eyes glazed and he watched Sasuke dart into the kitchen and come back with another banana.

"Show me what you want, with this," Sasuke said, tossing Naruto the banana, who held it like it was a bomb about to go off in his hands.

"But—"

"Or else you get nothing."

"Fine," Naruto huffed, and then smiled deviously as he began to peel the long yellow fruit. "Then peel off your clothes for me, banana boy. Slowly."

--

To Be Continued.


	4. The Catch

AN: This fic has been edited to comply with policy regarding NC-17 material. For those of you who are old enough and wish to see the censored parts of this chapter, there are links posted in my information page. Happy reading! - DeB

--

Sasuke's fingers went for the ties on his shirt and he fumbled with the knot for a few seconds before finally unlacing himself. He left the silky material slide off his shoulders and pool around his feet, completely aware of a pair of two very interested blue eyes taking in his every move.

Next he unzipped his pants and pushed them slowly down his hips, finally kicking them off into the corner. Naruto's eyebrows rose as he discovered that Sasuke was apparently going commando that day.

"You kinky bastard," he said, admiringly.

Sasuke blushed and held his hands awkwardly in front of him, trying to hide his obvious erection. "Shut up, asshole," he growled.

"Oh don't be so uptight," Naruto laughed, pulling Sasuke towards him with the hand not holding on to the banana and giving him a soft kiss on the lips. Sasuke relaxed into the kiss and tried to concentrate on the warmth of Naruto's body and the way a calloused hand was suddenly palming his right buttock instead of his own embarrassment.

The kiss deepened and soon both boys tongues were fighting for dominance, thrusting and licking and biting their way into the other's mouth like it was claimable territory. Sasuke found himself moaning openly as fingers dug into his ass and he broke the kiss, leaning back to look at Naruto's face.

"Show me what you want," he gasped and Naruto stared at him a few moments before giving and solemn nod and gently putting pressure on Sasuke's shoulders until the black-haired boy was kneeling before him.

--

Afterwards, Sasuke leaned back, watching with satisfied eyes as Naruto slumped against the wall, shuddering and gasping for air.

"Fuck wow," Naruto groaned, and Sasuke silently agreed.

The noises that the blond had made were intensely arousing and he had been as hard as a rock ever since he had walked into the apartment. Sasuke wondered if he should wait for Sakura as planned, or whether there was enough time for a round two. Naruto's lips had looked pretty great wrapped around that banana. Sasuke was willing to bet that they'd look even better wrapped around _him_.

But the question was made moot because no sooner had Sasuke made a suggestive gesture towards his own erection, than Sakura walked through the door with a bowl of cherries and a small container of melted dark chocolate in her hands.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto squeaked, trying to hide his privates with his hands while Sasuke snickered off to the side. "Um, this isn't…we were just…ah, well, you see—"

"Shut up Naruto," Sakura said, cheerfully, as she deposited her food items on the coffee table. "I see you guys started without me. Guess I was right, eh Sasuke-kun?"

"You were right," Sasuke admitted, rolling his eyes. "Don't rub it in."

"But I want to," Sakura said, a mock pout on her face. She knelt down beside Sasuke and gave him a friendly grope. Naruto's eyes just about bugged out of his face.

"Rub it in, that is. Or off," she teased, a wicked leer on her face that would rival even Jiraiya at his worst.

Naruto pinched himself just to make sure he hadn't somehow fallen asleep and was dreaming.

"Uh, Sakura-chan are you…that is, do you uh…"

"Want to fuck both of you?" she finished brightly. "Or, more accurately, want both of you to fuck me? Yeah, I do."

Naruto choked and look at Sasuke, but there was no help for him in that corner. In fact, the way Sasuke was currently rubbing himself was the antithesis of help. Plus it made Naruto's dick twitch in interest again.

"But Sakura-chan—"

Sakura crawled over and plunked herself in Naruto's lap, smiling when he gave a startled groan.

"Do you have a problem with that kind of arrangement, Naruto?"

"No, nuh uh, no way, no problems here," Naruto announced, deciding that if this was a dream it was the best one he ever had and he was going to go with it.

--

A hour later, Naruto rolled off to the side , his arm plopping carelessly into the discarded tub of chocolate. Sakura sighed and curled up under Sasuke's arm, hooking her legs around Naruto's so that she could remain connected to both her boys.

Sasuke sprawled flat on his back, his eyes staring at the ceiling of Naruto's apartment. He thought that later on he might be embarrassed about his nakedness, the chocolate in his hair, the fluids sticking to his thighs. For now, though, he was too tired to be embarrassed.

"…So…" Naruto began, and Sasuke groaned at the sound of his voice. _'How can the idiot still have enough energy to speak?'_ "Dare I ask what brought _that_ on?"

"Shut up, idiot," Sasuke said, closing his eyes.

Naruto chuckled at his friend's—_lover's?_—sulky tone. "Guess that's a 'no'. How about this: will this ever happen again?"

"It might if you _shut up for five seconds_, dumb-ass."

Sakura giggled and thanked the stars that they were both too exhausted to fight. Boys. They couldn't even do post-coital hazes without snapping at each other. She rolled a bit on her side, captured Naruto's jaw in her hand and brought his lips to his. After a decent amount of time, she shifted around and did the same to Sasuke. Both boys fell silent, dazed looks on their faces.

"There," Sakura chuckled, "it works for both of you. Haruno Sakura's ultimate shut-up-your-team-mates technique! Kisu-no-jutsu!"

"Sakura-chan," Naruto whined, "If I weren't so tired, I'd tickle you right now."

"I'd help," Sasuke grumbled.

"Me too," came a familiar voice from the front entrance, which made all three members of Team Seven start in surprise.

'_Oh crap. Please don't let it be…'_

"Yo," Kakashi said, giving a little wave. He so enjoyed the way his adorable and irritating little students' eyes widened in absolute horror. "Sorry I'm late, but it looks like you all kept yourselves busy without me. Sakura, you should put a blanket on or something. You'll catch cold."

Sakura squeaked and tried to cover herself with her hands. Sasuke reached for the shirt he had discarded and tossed it to her and she put it on, shooting him a guilty but grateful smile.

"I don't suppose there's any food for me," Kakashi mused as he took in the mussed and very naked appearance of his students.

"Um…sorry, I didn't think you would be coming tonight," Sakura mumbled, certain that her face was going to stay permanently red at this rate.

"Here you go Kakashi-sensei," Naruto said, offering up the rest of the cherries with a smile.

Kakashi looked and them, then at Sakura and Sasuke who were avoiding his gaze. His visible eyebrow raised and he nodded to himself.

"That's a very nice offer Naruto but I'm going to have to pass. Iruka would kill me if I interrupted you guys anymore tonight anyway," he said.

"Huh?"

"Don't stay up to late. We have early morning training tomorrow. I expect you there at 6:00," Kakashi said as he walked out the door, closing it behind him with a sharp bang.

"Weirdo," Naruto muttered. "Oh well, more for us!"

Sakura shot Saskue a smile as Naruto popped a few of the leftover cherries in his mouth, and Sasuke gave her a smirk in return. The plan worked. They were geniuses.

--

Over the next few weeks, it wasn't surprising to see Team Seven together; Naruto with both arms around his team mates, dragging them somewhere, usually with a fruity food item in hand.

Naruto was currently cornering the market on fresh produce and the other villagers grumbled over what one boy could possibly want with so much fruit. Naruto's energy seemed back to normal, and he was his old bouncy, hyper-active self, if a little more so now that he had finally gotten his heart's desire. However, his two team mates seemed to deplete in energy almost as much as Naruto had gained, and Tsunade finally called them once more into her office with concern.

"What's wrong with you guys?" she asked. "I can see that you've successfully completed your mission to get Naruto to change his diet, so it can't be that. Have you been neglecting your own vitamin C intake while you've been concerned with Naruto's?"

"We eat just as much fruit as the dumb-ass," Sasuke snorted, crossing his arms defensively.

"Then what's the problem?"

Sakura wiped and tired hand over her eyes and sighed. "Our plan worked a little _too_ well it seems. We underestimated Naruto's libido. Now every time he sees a piece of fruit he gets…well…"

"Horny," Sasuke supplied in his usual blunt manner.

Sakura blushed. "Yeah. So now, whenever we pass the marketplace, both Sasuke and I get dragged home to have uh…"

"Sex."

"We haven't slept more then five hours for days!"

"Try three, he wakes _me_ up first."

Tsunade frowned. "Do you want me to talk to him?"

"Nah, we can handle it," Sakura said with a jaw-cracking yawn. "The novelty will wear off in a few days and things will get back to normal."

"If you say so," Tsunade said, sounding doubtful.

All of a sudden, an orange and blonde blur swirled through the room and stopped in front of Sakura and Sasuke.

"Hey, hey you guys, where have you been?" Naruto panted, breathlessly. "I was looking all over for you! Listen, Fuzzy-brows found a box of oranges in his cupboard and he's been giving them out to anyone. Don't they look good?"

He waved the orange fruit under Sasuke's nose and the black-haired boy smothered a groan and pushed him away.

"Idiot, we're busy talking to Tsunade right now."

"Aw, but I'm huuungry," Naruto whined. "Tsunade-baachan won't mind if I steal you away for some lunch, right?"

The other two ninjas pleaded with their eyes but Tsunade only smiled sweetly at them.

"You did say you could handle it by yourselves," she reminded them.

Both Sakura and Sasuke glared daggers at their Hokage as they were dragged by the arm out the door by a grinning Naruto. As they exited the room, Tsunade raised her voice and yelled, "You can come out now, you old pervert."

Jiraiya slunk into the room from where he had been perched on the balcony, weeping tears of joy.

"This will be the best issue of _Icha Icha_ EVER," he cackled, rubbing his hands together.

"Don't drool on the carpet," Tsunade said. "And you'd better hope Kakashi never notices that you're writing about his students or the only use you'll be is as a pincushion."

"I'm always carefully," Jiraiya retorted. "I'll change the names: how does 'Baruto', 'Matsuke', and 'Takura' sound?"

"Oh god, you're a dead man," Tsunade groaned, burying her head in her hands.

Out in the hall they could here the indignant squawk of Uchiha Sasuke being groped and then the smack of a fist against a blond head, and both sannin members smiled. History apparently did not have to repeat itself and Konoha's children had finally found out where they belonged. Everything else could wait.

--

Fin.

AN: I hope you enjoyed "A Better Fox Trap." Any commentary would be much appreciated.


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